– Rena Bauer

I just recently stopped dating someone because I knew she wasn’t for me in the long-term.

A friend told me one time that she has relationships with people if they are “cute enough”.  This friend has long-term relationships!

My question is, why are you in your relationship?  Because the person is  “cute enough”, or because you want to be in the relationship and you see a future with this person?

Do you continue dating someone you don’t see a future with?

I had an opportunity to continue dating someone who adores me.  Someone I like and I  am attracted to.   I really enjoy spending time with her and she make me feel really good because she makes it clear that she likes me.

I realized quickly that even though I like her, I don’t see a long term future with her.  Not because she isn’t great, because she is.

During this short time, I realized how my ex-girlfriend who broke up with me frequently and also never seemed fully into our 9-year relationship, must have felt with me.

Do you continue dating someone you don’t want a future with?

This is what I had with my ex.  Yes, in those 9 years there were some tantalizing bits of hope.  Enough hope to keep me in it.

I won’t do that to anyone.

This made me so angry because I realized how intoxicating it can be to have someone who you enjoy (but don’t see a future with) adore you and be there whenever you want without any real responsibility on your end.  No real commitment.

It is not fun to be on either side of this type of relationship, when one person is more into the relationship than the other and when one person thinks there is a future and the other one doesn’t.

I really do believe that a great relationship answers the important questions without you wondering.  A commitment to the relationship/person is one of the most fundamental, important necessities to a health relationship.  Regardless of what side of the relationship you are on, if “commitment” is a question in your relationship, walk away.